It Was Done Unto Me
I was 16 when my single-parent mom moved us to Hawaii. We moved around a lot when I was a kid. My mother always seemed to think the next move, the next job, the next church would finally be the “right” one. It never was. (This would end up being my last big move with my mom as I was finally old enough to decide to stay put somewhere.) This whirlwind move brought the four of us (mom, sister, brother, and me) to Oahu with no car, no jobs, and no money.
Hawaii at that time was experiencing a severe nursing shortage. Nurses were being recruited from all over to fill short-term employment contracts. Employers were offering bonuses and putting the nurses up in hotels. My mom was a nurse and found a job fairly quickly. And we moved into a hotel in Waikiki.
The terms of my mother’s contract allowed us to stay in the hotel for only 3-months. We had enough money for necessities, but every spare dime was being saved so we could move to a place of our own. It was mid-November and Christmas was right around the corner. But there was no extra money for gifts or a celebration.
My mom stumbled upon a program where people would open their homes at Christmas to share with children and teens in need. There would be decorations, dinner, and presents. To my mother, this was a dream come true. She signed us up on the spot. And come mid-December my brother, sister, and I would be going to a host family’s house to have a “Christmas.”
Once the day arrived, we were picked up and taken to our host’s beautiful home. We met the family, had a lovely dinner, and received age-appropriate gifts. I wish I could say it was a great time, but I felt humiliated. The whole thing felt like some karmic, pay-it-forward situation. Everything was forced and phony. All I wanted was to run away.
They Had Done Unto Others
The host family, I am convinced, had the best of intentions. Their gift of Christmas came from the heart. I’m sure they truly desired to make a difference. They were “doing unto others.” and practicing the Golden Rule.
My mother, too, sincerely thought she was doing the right thing. She had found a way to give us a Christmas. She, too, was “doing unto others.”
But if I was the recipient of The Golden Rule, why did I feel so terrible?
The problem was that no one knew or understood what I wanted. No one knew I would rather have had NOTHING than be paraded around as some poor soul in need of a Christmas. No one knew this was all wrong for me. What I desired was for someone to understand me. And maybe that’s the secret.
Do Unto Others As They Would Have It Done
Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.
Luke 6:31 NASB
Isn’t that what we all want?..to be understood? Don’t we want the actions of others toward us to come from their understanding of us and our needs? And if this is what we want, shouldn’t we treat others the same?
So let me paraphrase Luke 6:31. “Understand others and treat them accordingly the same way you want them to understand and treat you.”
Now go and do.